Knowing when to Quit
“If your practice does not bring you joy, you are not practicing correctly.” Thich Nhat Hanh
I have been training diligently since September for marathon number nine, and Disney Marathon Weekend is at long last here.
I’ve understandably been asked why I torture myself for months because, truthfully, four-hour solo runs starting before sunrise are not necessarily fun.
The rewards are there, though. I feel that my marathon running has helped me to cultivate confidence and perseverance.
However, it’s also true that perseverance is something that I’ve on occasion had in excess. Sometimes, I don’t know when to quit, staying in bad situations much too long and pushing myself too hard.
My perseverance (sometimes called stubbornness) stood me in good stead as I got a Ph.D. in English, for example, but it also meant staying in the wrong major (journalism) as an undergraduate because I unwisely refused to give up though I was miserable.
At least I’m not as bad as the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
You may remember the scene. Arthur, King of the Britons as he always reminds everyone, comes upon the Black Knight and recruits him. The Black Knight isn’t interested and tells Arthur that he cannot pass. This leads to a fight.
First, Arthur bonks the Black Knight over the head with his sword. The loud clanging does nothing to dissuade the Black Knight, and the two engage in swordplay that leads to Arthur cutting off the Black Knight’s left arm.
Arthur, sounding quite kingly, tells the Black Knight, “Now stand aside, worthy adversary,” and prepares to pass, but the Black Knight responds, “’Tis but a scratch.”
An incredulous Arthur replies, “A scratch?! Your arm’s off!” To this, the Black Knight proclaims, “No, it isn’t.”
Arthur, clearly fed up, uses his sword to point to the arm now resting on the ground and asks with great sarcasm, “Well, what’s that then?”
The Black Knight assures him, “I’ve had worse.”
After calling the Black Knight a liar, Arthur engages in swordplay with him again, cutting off his right arm. This time, blood spurts profusely and comically from the wound.
When Arthur announces, “ victory is mine” and kneels to pray, the Black Knight kicks him in the head.
Now completely exasperated as the Black Knight dances around him, Arthur points out the obvious: “You’ve got no arms left!” Stubbornly, the Black Knight exclaims, “Yes, I have.” When Arthur now points to both arms on the ground, shouting, “Look!” the Black Knight kicks him in the butt and offers the famous line, “It’s just a flesh wound.”
Eventually, Arthur cuts off both of the knight’s legs, leaving him as a stump of a torso yelling at Arthur, “Come back here and take what’s coming to you. I’ll bite your legs off.”
The Black Knight fails to grasp one of the key steps of the Eightfold Path in Buddhism: Right Diligence.
Right Diligence means applying energy to what will end suffering for ourselves and for others. It means persevering at the right things, which is contextual.
We decide whether the context requires perseverance through the best known part of the Eightfold Path: Right Mindfulness, which is being fully present in the moment.
Unlike the Black Knight, we must be honest with ourselves. Rather than mindlessly fight a losing battle like the Black Knight does, we need to pause and ask is this a moment to persevere or to quit?
We each have to evaluate what is “wholesome,” to use Thich Nhat Hanh’s word, for everyone in the moment. We can ask, as he suggests, does it bring us joy — not pleasure — but joy.
For me, in spite of my aches and pains and a rather constant tiredness during marathon training, persevering is Right Diligence as the effort will result in finishing the race. More importantly, in spite of those tired aches and pains, the training itself brings me a kind of joy as I feel myself grow stronger.
I’m going to want to quit at mile 22 probably. I usually do. But I will persevere mindfully.
